Love Lives Eternally by Mary Nappier

It was getting near Christmas and I had delayed putting up a Christmas tree because this had been the first Christmas without our son. He had passed on to be with the Lord a few months before due to having leukemia. During his illness we would talk and he always told me he did not want me to be sad when he passed away and I promised him that I would try really hard not to be sad. I was doing ok with it until Christmas came near and then I fell apart because he had always enjoyed the holidays so much. He had a way of making Christmas so special to so  many people and fun to. So when that first Christmas came  around without him I had decided not to put up a tree at all, but the closer it got to Christmas I just felt something inside me telling to put one up. So my husband and I went and bought tree. When we began to decorate it I just fell apart because I felt so sad that our son was not there with me. I tried not to cry but I did anyway as I was getting the decorations out the box I had them stored in. I put them on the tree one by one and then I came to a very special ornament that my son gave me the year before, a glass icecyle with a gold string on it. He had it all wrapped in a pretty box when he gave it to me and said to me these words which I will never forget, "mom, I wished I could  have gotton you something more but I just don't have the money this year to buy much". I gave him a kiss on the forehead and said thats ok son I understand. I opened the gift and there was the most beautiful glass tree ornament I have ever seen, not a expensive one either, but one given with love. He and I hung it on the tree that year, and that was our last Christmas together. Well when I came across that tree ornament tears fell from my eyes as I remembered my son. I hung the ornament on the tree as tears fell from my eyes and for a brief moment I felt his hand on mine as I hung it on the tree and felt his present there with me and then I began smelling the sweetest scent I have ever smelled. I cannot even describe what it smelled like but it was a sweet beautiful smell. I know in my heart that my son had visited me and helped me hang the tree ornament he had given me. I know now too that he is always with me and the love goes on for ever. That small, cheap gift he gave to me was the most precious gift in the world to me, it means more to me than all the expensive gifts in this world. It was a gift given with love and nothing in this world can ever top that. So every year since, I have made it a special moment when I hang the ornament on our tree because I know he is there to with me helping me to hang it in just the right place on the tree.

 

 

 

  

  

  

 

HearT oF SoRroW...

SEKADAR RINTIHAN TIDAK BERGUNA,

SEANDAINYA TIADA USAHA...

TETAPI MEMANG BEGINILAH DIRI INI...

BUKAN KERANA MALAS,

BUKAN KERANA KEADAAN...

KERANA PERASAAN TAKUT AKAN KEKECEWAAN...

AKU MEMANG JENIS YANG TAK SANGGUP MENERIMA KEKECAWAAN...

TAPI KEKECEWAAN KALI INI,

MEMBUAT AKU MENANGIS,

YANG BUKAN MERUPAKAN KRITERIA DALAM DIRI INI....

TETAPI APABILA BERDEPAN DENGAN MASALAH INI,

AKU SEPERTI KURA-KURA....

MENGURUNG DIRI DARI SEGALA KEKECEWAAN....

APAKAN DAYA,

HATI INI TIDAK KUAT...

HANYA MAMPU MENAHAN...

MENAHAN SEGALA PENDERITAAN,

KEKECEWAAN....

DUNIA TIDAKLAH SEKEJAM MANA...

HANYA AKU YANG TIDAK TAHU MENGGUNAKAN PELUANG YANG ADA...

TAK TAHU KENAPA....

BODOH NYA DIRI INI...

TAK SANGGUP MELEPASKAN SI DIA...

MULUT BERKATA BEGITU

TETAPI HATI BERKATA LAIN....

BAHKAN SEKARANG AKU MASIH BERFIKIR INGIN MELEPASKAN SI DIA,

TETAPI HATI TAK SANGGUP...

SEHINGGAKAN AKU MENYUSAHKAN RAKANKU,

ASYIK BERTANYA SOALAN YANG SAMA,

PATUTKAH AKU ATAU TAK PATUTKAH AKU MELUAHKAN SEGALANYA...

ARGH! BODOH...

BAGAIMANA AKU BOLEH MELIBATKAN ORANG LAIN DALAM HAL INI

BAHKAN HAL INI MASALAH DATANG DARI KU SENDIRI...

AKU YANG TERTERJATUH HATI DENGAN SI DIA,

KENAPA PERLU AKU MELIBATKAN ORANG LAIN....

MAAF SAHAJA MAMPU KU KATAKAN...

AKU CUMA MEMERLUKAN TEMPAT UNTUK MELUAHKAN SEGALANYA...

SEGALA ISI HATI YANG MEMBUAT AKU TERSIKSA....

BAGAIMANA....

Give Me Strength O God...

sejak semalam titisan airmata tak henti mengalir di pipi...
begitu sukar sekali menyimpan perasaan ini...
dahulu aku menyimpan seribu harapan..
sekarang aku berkata seribu harapan menjadi debu...
aku tak ingin lagi menyimpan harapan terhadap cinta...
cinta hanya buat aku menderita...
selama aku bercinta dengan yang lain dulu,
tiada pernah aku merasakan derita,
bahkan aku seperti tiada perasaan cinta dengan mereka...
tetapi apabila dengan si dia,
walaupun si dia tak tahu perasaan aku terhadapnya,
aku merasakan derita....
tak tahu mengapa....
aku hairan...
adakah cinta kali ini lain daripada cinta sebelum ini...
aku pun tak tahu...
setiap kali memikirkan perihal ini,
ada sahaja airmata akan mengalir....
perasaan keliru sentiasa ada...
rasa seperti ingin menjerit...
tetapi menjerit hanya melegakan seketika...
bukan selamanya....
jangan risau, mati bukan satu penyelesaian...
aku bingung..
aku celaru...

my feeling for today

sometimes i do miss you, but sometimes i don't even remember you... but you always appears in my night dream... its a long long time not seeing you... are you still there? are you missing me? do you ever miss me? i don't know because you're not mine... myb because you're older than me or because we just not more than that..

Sam Tsui -Don't Want An Ending

I don't wanna fall out
But we're all out of time
(Is this over?)
(Don't want an ending)
In one day
No way you'll be mine
(Is this over?)
(Don't want an ending)

Ooohhh...

My heart is running on empty
One more day and then we go
Yeah, the time goes on now
Don't ask me how
I don't know
We'll be home tomorrow
About a thousand miles too far away? 
Say you won't forget and i'll be okay

At least tonight
It's just you and me and honestly
That's everything i need

I don't wanna fall out
But we're all out of time
(Is this over?)
(Don't want an ending)
In one day
No way you'll be mine
(Is this over?)
(Don't want an ending)

Tonight's the countdown
'Till the day we're not around
(Is this over?)
(Don't want an ending)
And you're gone
And we're on with our lives
(Is this over?)
(Don't want an ending)
I don't want an ending

Don't want an ending...

The days turn to hours
And it’s just a moment before they go
I’m scared to say goodbye,
‘Cause what’s after that?
I don’t know.

As the years look past us
If we lose track,
Or lose the fight,

I will search forever
To find a way back..


To tonight
Where it's just you and me and honestly
That's everything I need

I don't wanna fall out
But we're all out of time
(Is this over?)
(Don't want an ending)
In one day
No way you'll be mine
(Is this over?)
(Don't want an ending)

Tonight's the countdown
'Til the day we're not around
(Is this over?)
(Don't want an ending)
And you're gone
And we're on with our lives
(Is this over?)
(Don't want an ending)
I don't want an ending

We said "see ya later"
But I know there's no way we're
Around here again (yeah)
And every until next time
Feels like one bad punch line
And I don't want that again

I don't wanna fall out
But we're all out of time
(Is this over?)
(Don't want an ending)
In one day
No way you'll be mine
(Is this over?)
(Don't want an ending)

I don't wanna fall out
But we're all out of time
(Is this over?)
(Don't want an ending)
In one day
No way you'll be mine
(Is this over?)
(Don't want an ending)

Tonight's the countdown
'Til the day we're not around

(Is this over?)
(Don't want an ending)
And you're gone
And we're on with our lives
(Is this over?)
(Don't want an ending)
(Noo) I
Don't want an ending
(All out of time)
Don't want an ending
Don't want an ending

LoVe HearT CinTa

Satu perasaan

Yang ingin aku kongsikan bersamamu... ...

Dalam susah, senang, suka, duka,

Sehingga mati yang memisahkan kita... ...

Pabila terbitnya matahari,

Ku terbayang wajahmu,

Yang tak pernah ada sedih,

Sentiasa menyerikan hidup orang tersayang... ...

Senyuman manismu

Tak pernah hilang dari ingatanku, 

Yang sentiasa menjadi mainan mimpi tidurku... ...

Bukan paras, mahupun harta

Yang ku lihat pada dirimu... ...

Tetapi caramu, tingkahmu

Yang sentiasa membuatkan ku senang,

Gembira bersamamu... ...

Setiap hari,

Aku menunggu masa itu tiba,

Masa pabila aku dapat bertemu,

Bersua denganmu... ...

Biarpun hanya seketika,

Sesaat pun akan ku hargai, ingati... ...

Akan ku simpan bagai emas belian,

Akan ku kenang hingga ke akhir hayat... ...

Namun begitu,

Ini adalah satu perasaan yang rumit,

Satu perasaan yang tak dapat ku kongsikan... ...

Bukan kerana malu,

Bukan kerana pihak ketiga,

Tapi kerana aku tak mahu dirimu jauh,

Jauh dariku, hilang dari jalinan persahabatan... ...

Inginku luahkan padamu,

Tapi perasaan takut kehilanganmu itu,

membuat lidahku aku... ...

Aku tetap gembira,

Aku tetap bahagia,

Seandainya dirimu juga bahagia... ...

Biarpun bukan bersamaku,

Asal kamu dapat bersama orang yang kamu cintai, sayangi... ...

Cukuplah biar hanya Tuhan yang tahu,

Tahu bagaimana perasaan ku terhadapmu... ...

Hanya inilah yang paling ikhlas,

Yang dapat ku berikan kepada mu... ...

Andai Tuhan mengizinkan... ...

 . . . . . . LoVe <3 CinTa . . . . . . .

Simple Life but Always Sweet....

life is so sweet when we started to fall in love to somebody..

but whenever the sweetness started to bloom, 

there must be something that faded the sweetness..

at that time, bad thing started to come out..

saya, seperti gadis2 yang lain..

mampu menangis andai hati ini terluka..

saya, seperti gadis2 lain juga,

ingin diri ini dihargai...

namun apa kan daya,

cinta hanya bertahan beberapa hari...

ah!!! apa ku peduli, 

tetapi hati ku pedih...

ketika aku di dalam kereta rakan ku (tempat duduk belakang)

keitka itu juga aku bergaduh dengan sidia.

aku menangis dalam kegelapan..

segala perbualan aku dan rakan ku hanya ku sahut dengan 'em... ya la...''

hati ku terlalu pedih sehingga x mampu untuk ku sembunyikan..

setelah pulang, aku cuba menahan tangis ku.

tetapi air mata tetap juga gugur ke bumi..

di dalam kamar ku menangis, 

ketika mandi ku menangis sepuas hati ku...

ku berbaring mengenang kembali hubungan yg ku jalani

hubungan yg x pun sampai setahun jagung..

kini hati ku nekad

nekad untuk menjauhkan perasaan cinta ku,

aku x ingin mencintai atau dicintai..

cinta terlalu perit bagi ku..

bukan sahaja perit tetapi derita..

tetapi hati ini begitu mudah untuk jatuh cinta.

jatuh cinta lagi tetapi bukan dengan si dia..

dengan seseorang yang ku anggap begitu baik..

begitu lah pandangan ku terhadap nya..

aku baharu menegenali nya..

dia juga begitu...

namun hati ini bukan lah jatuh ketika mata ini bertembung mata

tetapi dapat dirasai apabila hati ini mulai merinduinya.

namun ku degil dengan berkata '' ah!! ini hanya mainan perasaan''

''x mungkin bg ku untuk mencintai yg lain lagi''

hati ku gagal meneguhkan prinsip itu..

semakin hari hati ini bergolak sahaja untuk bertemu dengan nya..

apakan daya, aku hanya mengenalinya melalui nama nya sahaja...

segala butiran dirinya x ku ketahui..

hati ku resah

menunggu hari itu tiba..

dia mesti ada ketika itu...

ingin ku bertanya kepada yg lain tentang kehadiran nya,

tetapi rakan ku kuat nalurinya..

x sanggup ku dipermalukan kerana menyukai lelaki tiu..

ku tahu ku x sempurna seperti yg lain

tetapi bukan semua yg sempurna seperti Tuhan kita..

andai tiada jodoh antara kita,

akan ku terima segala rencana yg ditetapkan oleh Tuhan.

kerana aku tahu Tuhan lebih tahu..

namun ku berdoa

agar biarpun hanya sehari mahupun seminit,

biarlah aku merasa CINTA dan KASIH SAYANG 

dari lelaki itu...