that night, i kept avoiding you, not to stare at your face, not listening to you... that why that night, i kept walking and trying to find a way not to stand by you... only a friend that night that know why i act strangely...
same night i texting my friend saying that i am crying that night... i said to myself be strong b'coz i'm a strong girl but that just a lie...
ingin ku lupakan kisah antara kita biarpun sementara shj memori kita, tp tak bermakna aku x menghargainya... oleh kerna itu shj memori antara kita, cukup utk simpanan ku... kau berkata, masih ada yg lebih sesuai utk mu.. kau berkata ku msh muda... tumpukan perhatian mu pada pelajaran... yeah... aku hanya berkata yg aku xingin sebarang cinta... tp itu hanya cerita... betapa lamanya aku menyimpan perasaanku kerna aku xingin kecewa, aku takut titisan airmata ku gugur kerna mu... seandai aku mencatat kisah ini sekarang, semestinya air mataku gugur lagi... aku tipu bahawa anggap sj tiada apa2 terjadi pdku... ya.. aku tahu kau dan aku... ah... xmampu ku berkata-kata kerna ku x sanggup menerima hakikat yg cinta ku x terbalas... ku cuba senyum bila berjumpa denganmu... tp ku x berani memandang wajahmu biar sesaat...
bila ku dengar berita tentang mu, aku cuba mengelak diri utk mendengarnya kerna aku ingin melupakan mu... namun aku tahu sejak keblakangan ini, kau penuh kesulitan dalam hidupmu.. nombor telefon kau ingin ku buang, tp x sanggup ku lakukan kerna aku x mau kehilangan memori ttg mu... aku ingin seperti dulu... gelak ketawa, gurau senda, susah senang kita bersama... kawanku sering bertanya kenapa aku begitu degil? selalu menipu diri ini kuat, xkan menangis, akan menerima kenyataan... ya... mg itu yg ku katakan dl, tp sekarang hampir setiap hari aku menangis... tagisan yg xdpt ku kongsikan kerna aku x ingin kau malu... inginku berjumpa denganmu tp ...Ya Tuhan... hanya kau tahu ini adalah benar dari hatiku... hambaMu ini lemah...
jika dulu ku katakan pd semua bhw bukan kau yg menjadi raja di hatiku... tp sekarang...
p/s maaf rakan ku... xmampu ku menahan lagi...
| It was getting near Christmas and I had delayed putting up a Christmas tree because this had been the first Christmas without our son. He had passed on to be with the Lord a few months before due to having leukemia. During his illness we would talk and he always told me he did not want me to be sad when he passed away and I promised him that I would try really hard not to be sad. I was doing ok with it until Christmas came near and then I fell apart because he had always enjoyed the holidays so much. He had a way of making Christmas so special to so many people and fun to. So when that first Christmas came around without him I had decided not to put up a tree at all, but the closer it got to Christmas I just felt something inside me telling to put one up. So my husband and I went and bought tree. When we began to decorate it I just fell apart because I felt so sad that our son was not there with me. I tried not to cry but I did anyway as I was getting the decorations out the box I had them stored in. I put them on the tree one by one and then I came to a very special ornament that my son gave me the year before, a glass icecyle with a gold string on it. He had it all wrapped in a pretty box when he gave it to me and said to me these words which I will never forget, "mom, I wished I could have gotton you something more but I just don't have the money this year to buy much". I gave him a kiss on the forehead and said thats ok son I understand. I opened the gift and there was the most beautiful glass tree ornament I have ever seen, not a expensive one either, but one given with love. He and I hung it on the tree that year, and that was our last Christmas together. Well when I came across that tree ornament tears fell from my eyes as I remembered my son. I hung the ornament on the tree as tears fell from my eyes and for a brief moment I felt his hand on mine as I hung it on the tree and felt his present there with me and then I began smelling the sweetest scent I have ever smelled. I cannot even describe what it smelled like but it was a sweet beautiful smell. I know in my heart that my son had visited me and helped me hang the tree ornament he had given me. I know now too that he is always with me and the love goes on for ever. That small, cheap gift he gave to me was the most precious gift in the world to me, it means more to me than all the expensive gifts in this world. It was a gift given with love and nothing in this world can ever top that. So every year since, I have made it a special moment when I hang the ornament on our tree because I know he is there to with me helping me to hang it in just the right place on the tree. |
SEKADAR RINTIHAN TIDAK BERGUNA,
sejak semalam titisan airmata tak henti mengalir di pipi...
begitu sukar sekali menyimpan perasaan ini...
dahulu aku menyimpan seribu harapan..
sekarang aku berkata seribu harapan menjadi debu...
aku tak ingin lagi menyimpan harapan terhadap cinta...
cinta hanya buat aku menderita...
selama aku bercinta dengan yang lain dulu,
tiada pernah aku merasakan derita,
bahkan aku seperti tiada perasaan cinta dengan mereka...
tetapi apabila dengan si dia,
walaupun si dia tak tahu perasaan aku terhadapnya,
aku merasakan derita....
tak tahu mengapa....
aku hairan...
adakah cinta kali ini lain daripada cinta sebelum ini...
aku pun tak tahu...
setiap kali memikirkan perihal ini,
ada sahaja airmata akan mengalir....
perasaan keliru sentiasa ada...
rasa seperti ingin menjerit...
tetapi menjerit hanya melegakan seketika...
bukan selamanya....
jangan risau, mati bukan satu penyelesaian...
aku bingung..
aku celaru...
sometimes i do miss you, but sometimes i don't even remember you... but you always appears in my night dream... its a long long time not seeing you... are you still there? are you missing me? do you ever miss me? i don't know because you're not mine... myb because you're older than me or because we just not more than that..
I don't wanna fall out
But we're all out of time
(Is this over?)
(Don't want an ending)
In one day
No way you'll be mine
(Is this over?)
(Don't want an ending)
Ooohhh...
My heart is running on empty
One more day and then we go
Yeah, the time goes on now
Don't ask me how
I don't know
We'll be home tomorrow
About a thousand miles too far away?
Say you won't forget and i'll be okay
At least tonight
It's just you and me and honestly
That's everything i need
I don't wanna fall out
But we're all out of time
(Is this over?)
(Don't want an ending)
In one day
No way you'll be mine
(Is this over?)
(Don't want an ending)
Tonight's the countdown
'Till the day we're not around
(Is this over?)
(Don't want an ending)
And you're gone
And we're on with our lives
(Is this over?)
(Don't want an ending)
I don't want an ending
Don't want an ending...
The days turn to hours
And it’s just a moment before they go
I’m scared to say goodbye,
‘Cause what’s after that?
I don’t know.
As the years look past us
If we lose track,
Or lose the fight,
I will search forever
To find a way back..
To tonight
Where it's just you and me and honestly
That's everything I need
I don't wanna fall out
But we're all out of time
(Is this over?)
(Don't want an ending)
In one day
No way you'll be mine
(Is this over?)
(Don't want an ending)
Tonight's the countdown
'Til the day we're not around
(Is this over?)
(Don't want an ending)
And you're gone
And we're on with our lives
(Is this over?)
(Don't want an ending)
I don't want an ending
We said "see ya later"
But I know there's no way we're
Around here again (yeah)
And every until next time
Feels like one bad punch line
And I don't want that again
I don't wanna fall out
But we're all out of time
(Is this over?)
(Don't want an ending)
In one day
No way you'll be mine
(Is this over?)
(Don't want an ending)
I don't wanna fall out
But we're all out of time
(Is this over?)
(Don't want an ending)
In one day
No way you'll be mine
(Is this over?)
(Don't want an ending)
Tonight's the countdown
'Til the day we're not around
(Is this over?)
(Don't want an ending)
And you're gone
And we're on with our lives
(Is this over?)
(Don't want an ending)
(Noo) I
Don't want an ending
(All out of time)
Don't want an ending
Don't want an ending
